Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
