apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
