i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
