we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
She needs sedatives and a leash
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
