They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Is this like a preordered booty call?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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