i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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