My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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