I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Randomize
