just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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