My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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