i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
