Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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