I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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