worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
