I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
