i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
