there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
