when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize