So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
