If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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