just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
