Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
