chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
