I feel like I'm in dance class right now
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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