So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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