Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
