Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
