There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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