I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
