His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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