Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
