my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
