If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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