he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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