PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
