apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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