So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'm jealous of your bromance
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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