So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
