Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Randomize
