that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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