flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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