Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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