My hair reeks of homosexuality.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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