What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
