I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
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