We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
