The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
