Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
