he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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