you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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