She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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